Naruto: A Ghost of a Chance
by RavenShantor
Summary: Everyone believes that the Kyuubi No Kitsune is sealed with in one Naruto Uzumaki but what if what they thought was the Kyuubi wasn't What if it was something far older and far more dangerous? And what if it was no longer sealed?
1. Show Time

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own neither the characters or the concepts related to either the Beetlejuice or the Naruto Universes. I am merely borrowing them for my own amusement and insanity. Also author is not responsible for any physical or mental health issues that may or may not arise as a result of reading of this story. This story contains subject matters of an adult, insane, illogical and ridicules nature and anything even remotely resembling sanity and or reason has been beaten into a bloody and undefinable lump of goop and dropped into the deepest darkest hole that the author could find. No money is being made and several shinobi and civilian have been harmed and/or humiliated in the making of this work of pure fiction.

_**Opening A/N:**_ This story came to me while I was reading **_'s: It's Showtime_** story. I enjoyed the story so much highly recommend the readers to check it out as well. I am using this story as a means to get my creative juices flowing again and to help me get back into my own writing after being away for so long. Far warning this story will be pure crack without either rhyme, reason and no actual plot planned. The gloves are off and the laws governing reality no longer apply... You have been warned.

Now on with our show... … ...

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

When Naruto arrives on the bridge he quickly realizes just how out matched his team really is. While Kakashi-sensei is holding his own against Zabuza it is apparent that unless something gives and soon both Jounin would end up dead at the others hand. And as for the two remaining Genin on his team... Safely removed from the fighting Sakura is currently guarding their client Tazuna although she appears as if she will either wet herself or faint from freight or both at any moment and as for Sasuke... Konoha's last remaining "_Loyal Uchiha_" is currently fighting for his life against the fake Hunter-nin they now know to be Zabuza's accomplice. As Naruto approaches the Dome of Ice Mirrors he can only think of one thing and that is playing the Hero and finally being recognized as the awesome Shinobi that he is. Sadly things do not always go as planned...

"Way to go Dobe," Sasuke tells him sarcastically, "Now we're both trapped in here."

"Well excuse me for trying to save your ungrateful ass," Naruto snaps back.

"I don't need a Dobe like you to save me," Sasuke nearly growls. "I'm an Uchiha," he reminds his teammate for the thousandth time since they met, "I can take care of a nobody like Zabuza's accomplice by myself."

"You're certainly doing a bang up job of it so far," the blonde Genin quips. With a heavy sigh their opponent reminds them both of their current predicament as "_he_" releases another barrage of Senbon needles aimed at incapacitating the bickering duo.

In a vain attempt to overwhelm their adversary Naruto floods the dome with what has become his signature Jutsu. Wave after wave of Shadow Clones intercept the seemingly endless supply of needles only to be dispelled just as quickly as they are created. Soon the entire Area is saturated with chakra laced smoke obscuring the view of all three Shinobi. Seeking to capitalize on their opponent's temporary blindness Naruto grabs Sasuke's arm in what proves to be a vain attempt at pulling the Uchiha with him outside the deadly Jutsu.

As soon as Naruto pulls on his arm Sasuke realizes what his teammate is attempting to accomplish and while logically he understands that it is the wisest course of action for them to take his Uchiha pride will not allow him to accept the Dobe's assistants. Yanking his arm free of the other teen's grasp he shoves the blonde away from himself in anger. "If you're so much of a coward then runaway but an Uchiha never backs down to anyone especially some weakling impostor," he yells.

The sudden noise is enough to give the "_Hunter-nin_" a good idea of their targets current location and with a quick flick of their wrist they release yet another volley of Senbon. The attack is rewarded with a sudden gasp of pain and a soft thud as at lease one of their opponents finally succumbs to their attacks.

"_**NARUTO**_," the proud Uchiha scream of shock and loss is heard across the bridge and in that instant all fighting comes to a sudden and surprised end.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

"Looks like you're down by one student Kakashi," The Demon of the Bloody Mist taunts the Konoha Jounin. "Give him a few more minutes and Haku will finish your other student," he smirks under his bandages.

"That maybe true," Kakashi replies with a newly awakened sense of urgency in his voice, "But you won't be alive to see it." Launching into yet another with renewed vigor Konoha's Famous Copy-Nin knows that time is running out and that he needs to end this fight quickly if he is to have any hope of saving the rest of his Team and avenging his Sensei's son. '_Minato-Sensei please forgive me_,' he thinks painfully to himself as he dodges another swing of Zabuza's giant Head Cleaver Sword, '_I could not protect your son but I will be damned if I allow another of my students to die on my watch._'

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As the smoke begins to dissipate inside the Dome Sasuke's eyes gaze intently upon the fallen form of his blonde rival and teammate. His mind flashes back to that terrible night four years ago as loss and rage via for dominance within his heart. As hatred and rage begin to overwhelm all other emotions in his heart time seems to slow all around him as the vision of his fallen comrade comes into sharper clarity and greater focus. "Is this the first time you've seen a comrade fall," a gentle voice asks behind him.

"This is not my first experience with death," the lone survivor of his clan's massacre replies coldly. "But his shall be the last life you ever take," the raven haired avenger nearly snarls as he turns to face the one responsible. Blood Red Crimson eyes burn with the renewed hatred as a lone tomoe in each eye spins in anger. However before he can exact his revenge a sense of dread begins to permeate the air around them glancing at his fallen teammate Sasuke is shocked and more then a little frightened to see the dark purple miasma that begins seeping out of the blonde's body covering the believed corpse and slowly creeping its way across the ground towards him.

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On the other side of the incomplete bridge the two Jounin once again break from their battle to the death as they each sense the malicious intent of the miasma slowly saturating the Dome their young charges currently occupy. "What the hell is that?" Zabuza asks as he begins to grow worried for Haku's safety, "I've never felt anything like this before."

For his part Kakashi's heart nearly ceases functioning as the evil malicious intent coming from the Dome takes his mind takes him back to that terrible night thirteen years ago. '_Dear Kami no_,' his mind screams, '_Please for all that his holy don't let the seal break now_.' Closing his eyes for a moment he reaches out with his senses and nearly chokes on the breath he did not even realize he had been holding. '_Not breaking... just slipping_,' he thinks grateful that the seal still holds. '_But if the seal is still active then that means_...' His heart momentarily soars at the realization that his hyperactive blonde Genin is still alive. "This ends now," the Elite Jounin tells the missin-nin as he removes a scroll from one of the pockets on the front of his flack jacket.

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Haku's eyes widen behind her mask as she watches the miasma with a growing sense of foreboding. She can barely make out the shadowy silhouette of a figure now standing in the thick purple haze. Her feeling of doom only heightens as hollow evil laugh begins to echo within the Dome of Ice Mirrors sending a chill of terror down her spine.

Nar...Nar.. Naruto..." Sasuke asks in a shaky voice as he tries to swallow down his own fears at what is currently transpiring.

"Though I know I should be wary," comes the ominous reply from within the thickening miasma.

"Still I venture someplace scary," the detached hollowed voice echoes inside the Mirrors.

"Ghostly haunting I turn loose..." While logically they both know that the hauntingly eerie voice must be coming from inside the miasma the echo effect of the Dome causes it to seem as if it's coming from all around them filling both teens with even greater terror.

"_Beetlejuice_," that one simple word causes the thick purple fog to pulse with an unholy light.

"_**Beetlejuice**_," comes the second pulse of a seemingly other worldly heartbeat.

"_**BEETLEJUICE!"**_ With one final ear piercing scream that would make the most vicious banshee proud the unholy miasma finally explodes outward in a sudden powerful gust of wind that forces Haku to return to her Ice Mirrors or be swept away like the unfortunate Uchiha who is blown past her and out of the Dome and sent hurling towards their respective Jounin Senseis.

"Ah that's much better," a new voice speaks from within the center of the Ice user's Jutsu drawing her attention to its owner. The sight that greets her is one that she would never have expected to encounter in a Shinobi battle. Standing before her is who she can only assume is the same blonde from before only now he looks rather different from before. Gone is that hideous "_Kill Me Please_" neon orange baggy jump suit and in its place is a tailored form fitting custom made crimson red pinstripe suit with a black dress shirt and a blood red tie with a golden tie clip engraved with a stylized leaf, the symbol worn by Konoha's Shinobi. A crimson gangster style hat and polished black dress shoes complete the whiskered Genin's new outfit_._

The most startling difference is the fact that the Genin seems to have not only grown nearly a full head in height but also aged a few years. Now standing at around 5 foot 4 and a half inches the 112 pound apparently 16 year old looks at her with an appraising glint to his hauntingly foggy grayish blue eyes as an unseen breeze flows through his once sun kissed spiky blonde hair. Gone is his former tan leaving his skin a sickly pale gray of the recently deceased. His once vibrant hair now has a dull lackluster quality as if it hasn't been washed in quite some time.

"So You want to finish this little dance or what?" He asks in a bored tone of voice as he takes a casual stance and begins cleaning the dirt out from under his now blackish fingernails.

"What happened to you?" she asks him in a small shaky uncertain voice.

"This and that," he replies with a casual shrug. "So you wanna do this or not?" he asks her again. "Because to be honest with you I'd rather deal with the slime ball standing behind his army of losers at the other end of this fog then waste my time on a pointless fight."

"Gato," she asks him in disbelief, "Gato's here?"

"Yep," he answers, "He and his men just showed up." Looking over her shoulder and past the fog as if he can actually see through the Jutsu he grins an evil malicious grin that promises much inhumane pain to those it is directed at. "So we going to finish this or are you going to let me go and enjoy the show?" He asks with a malevolent twinkle in his dull eyes. "I promise you it will be well worth the price of admission."

"And what exactly is the price of admission?" She inquires curiously.

"Why Haku-chan," he says with a flirtatious half smirk shocking her into open mouth silence behind her porcelain mask at the revelation of his knowledge as to her true identity. "Tell you what I'll do," he begins flashing her a foxy smile complete with pale greyish blue lips framing dull white teeth, "How about you owe me one?"

"Oh...okay," she answers uncertain of exactly what he'll ask for in return but curious as to what he has in mind for dealing with Gato and his army of mercenaries.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

As Kakashi begins to charge up his one and only original Jutsu as his nin-dogs hold Zabuza immobilized a figure come barreling straight at him. Instincts born of years of combat allow him to release the chakra he had been gathering and turn just in time to cushion the blow. Channeling chakra through his feet the former ANBU Captain turns what would have otherwise been a one way ticket over the bridge's edge into a simple slide of only a few feet. Looking down at what he know learns was the human projectile he is shocked to discover the passed out form of his raven haired Genin snoring in his arms.

"Damn he got better hang time then I thought," a voice chuckles.

Looking up Kakashi's eye nearly bug out of their sockets at the sight before him. "Nar...Naru... Naruto," the veteran Shinobi stutters.

"In the new and improved flesh," the whiskered marked blonde replies with a disturbingly satisfied smirk. "So you two going to finish this little squabble or do you want to watch me take care of Gato and his men?" he asks his Sensei as the man gently lowers the sleeping Uchiha to the cement floor.

"Gato's here?" Zabuza inquires not believing the strange young man before him.

"Yup," Naruto replies pointing just past the two older Shinobi to the very edge of the unfinished bridge. As he does so the mist begins to clear in a foul smelling breeze revealing the millionaire business mogul and his small army of hired thugs. "Ah man..." Naruto wines holding his nose, "Who farted?"

The gathered mercenaries look at each other with disgust and begin inching away from the man next to him.

"Naruto," Kakashi says getting the blonde's attention, "What happened to you?"

"Later Kakashi-Sensei," the Genin tells his Team's Teacher. "It's a lone story and I don't really want to tell it more than once so I'll explain everything once we get back to Konoha and I can tell Jiji as well." Turning his attention back to the thugs in front of them an evil smirk appears on his pale lips as he takes his hat off and reaches a hand inside. Fishing around inside the hat he pulls out a rubber chicken before throwing it away and reaching back into the hat. "Now where are they," he asks no one in particular as his arm disappears further into the hat.

"That's not it," he says as he reaches deeper inside the strange head wear, his entire arm now vanishing up to the shoulder in the seemingly bottomless garment. Pulling out a cane he tosses it to a mystified Haku. "Hold this for me," he asks her before reaching back into the hat now with both hands. The sides of the hat begin to bulged at odd locations a a bizarre spots as Naruto's entire upper body disappears inside the hat causing everyone watching to look on with morbid fascination. As the rustling and muffled mumbling of curses emanates from the seemingly magical garment the young Genin's butt wiggles in the air causing the hat to swish from side to side. "_**FOUND THEM**_," Naruto finally cries from within the hat before the rest of his body is sucked inside.

The hat lays perfectly still on before slowly lifting into the air of its own accord. As it travels up off the ground a pair of black laced boots with red trimming emerge from within soon followed by a pair of pale hairless legs and red trunks boxing trunks with black trim covered by a black padded crotch protector with a red stylized leaf insignia. Soon after a set of pale grayish blue washboard abs and well toned muscular chest and arms followed by red headgear and toned pale arms emerge from the odd hat. Last to be revealed is a pair of dull dark gray cast iron boxing gloves. Grinning like a maniac Naruto tosses the hat to wide eyed Haku, once again asking her to hold it for him.

Naruto taps the knuckles of the Gloves together with a nearly deafening clanking sound as he begins hopping around from foot to foot. Taking a few experimental jabs and swings he loosens himself up with some simple warm-ups before giving what can only be assumed is a toothy grin as a sickly yellow mouth piece cover his upper row of teeth. Pointing his right glove at Gato be reveals that raised initials NU that adorns the gloves. "I want you," he taunts the crime boss.

Without warning the Genin vanishes in a purple fog that came from seemingly out of nowhere. Kakashi, Zabuza and Haku look around frantically for the missing blonde before the sounds of cracking bones and cries for help draw their attention back towards Gato's army. All three Shinobi watch on with morbid fascination as a bellowing cloud of purple dust is kicked up in front of them completely consuming Gato and his men. As they watch the occasional limb, head or upper body manages to peek out from the cloud along with cries of mercy and maniacal laughter fill the air. From time to time the laughter is broken up with the words"Don't run," "Get back over here," "Take it like a man" or stop crying like a little baby."

"Should I be disturbed that I find this all strangely intriguing," Haku asks her mentor.

"If you are then that makes two of us," Kakashi answers instead.

"I don't know where you've been hiding this kid Kakashi," Zabuza says not taking his eyes off the carnage in front of them, "But I'm starting to like his style."

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After what seems like an eternity but in reality could have only been a few minutes the sounds of fighting stop leaving only the soft painful whimpers of the broken and utterly defeated thugs. As the dust begins to settle Naruto stands over a whimpering Gato once again wearing his new suit minus his hat. "Tell me Gato," he begins casually cleaning the dirt out from beneath his fingernails with a slightly dull and rusty kunai. "Ever wondered what would happen if someone where to say shove an old rusty kunai up you ding-dong?"

"Please," the business tycoon grovels latching on to the teens leg, "Please I can give you anything you want just name it."

"Anything," Naruto asks as if considering the offered bribe.

"Anything," Gato nearly shouts hope shimmering in his eyes.

"Okay," Naruto replies shocking everyone as he puts the kunai away. "Buttfuck the duck ass and I'll let you go," he says pointing to the still passed out Uchiha heir.

Gato cringes in revolution at the idea of engaging in such a revolting act with another male but since his desire for survival is stronger then his revolution he moves towards the snoring teen as he begins to undo his pants.

It is at this point that Sakura chooses to show up with their client and seeing her beloved Sasuke about to be violated by a disgusting toad of a man she is suddenly blinded by rage as her inner self takes momentary control and delivers a jaw shattering punch to the side of the would be pedophiles head which sends him sailing over the heads of the others and crashing through the roof deck and hull of the small boat tethered to the base of the bridge.

Watching the boat sink into the icy cold water Naruto can only blink as his mind process what he just witnessed. "Damn," he whistles, "I always knew Sakura-chan had a killer right hook but I never expected it literally kill someone."

"NARUTO," his pink haired Teammate snarls as she stomps her way towards him, "I just know that was your idea of a sick joke."

"Guilty," he shrugs as she pulls back to deck him. Grabbing her wrist as her fist begins its trajectory towards his skull his free hand grabs the front of her red dress and pulls her entire body towards him. Cold dead lips press against warm living lips as a once restraining grip gives way to an indulgent groping of the young kunoichi's bottom.

Shock and revolution soon gives way to lust and desire before quickly being replaced with anger and rage. Shoving the blonde Shinobi away Sakura's eyes widen in utter horror as the air is filled with the sound of ripping cloth. "Damn Sakura-Chan I knew you were saving yourself for the Uchiha but that's just a little much isn't it?"

Looking at the now near naked female member of his team Naruto's eyes take in the dark blue fabric of her bra and thong panties. What sparked his comment is the fact the directly over the nipples and crotch of said garments is a red and white fan, the symbol for the once great Uchiha Clan.

Her mind exploding in sheer panic, Sakura grabs her torn dress from Naruto's hand and holds it tightly to her chest as she runs as fast as her young legs will carry her back towards their client's home.

As Naruto watches her leave he only has one comment to make about the view. "Now _that_ is a white ass."

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_**Closing A/N:**_ AND... CUT... So what did you all think? Just to let you all know now that while Naruto may/probably will end up sleeping with most of the females in the Naruto series he will not be in any relationships... _EVER._ Boy's a player plain and simple and will not be settling down _PERIOD..._ Now as for Naruto's new powers... well let's just say that Konoha's King of Pranks has a whole new bag of tricks and that Konoha will never be the same again.

Now while there will be some bashing of the Genin on Team Seven there will be no Kakashi bashing. Oh don't get me wrong he will get pranks/humiliated for his regular habit of being late to everything but he won't be out right bashed. I'm sorry but in my opinion he neglected everyone on the team equally and didn't play favorites like everyone in Fandome would have you believe. As far as the argument about ditching Naruto for Sasuke during the Chunin Exams... in my opinion he arranged for a proper tutor to assist Naruto in working on improving his greatest weakness which is chakra control and even fix the gaping holes left in his Academy Education. Honestly if Naruto's temper, jealousy and lust for flashy Jutsus hadn't have gotten in the way he could very well have been further ahead of the curve then he was during that month of training. Sorry but in my opinion if you can bring Naruto's chakra control up to even that of an average Genin with his Kage Level Reserves and you'd have someone who is easily on par power wise with a mid to high Chunin if not a low Special Jounin. But that's just my opinion.

Anyways as always please remember to review on your way out and let me know what you think. Also a reminder since it's been so long since my last posting on this site I only accept signed reviews. I've had issues with flamers in the past and I refuse to have them anymore. If you're too cowardly to sign your name to a flame so I can respond privately you're not worth my time to respond at all and I refuse to answer flames in my stories.

That's it for now so until next time...

~Later~

Raven


	2. Not the Kyuubi

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own neither the characters or the concepts related to either the Beetlejuice or the Naruto Universes. I am merely borrowing them for my own amusement and insanity. Also author is not responsible for any physical or mental health issues that may or may not arise as a result of reading of this story. This story contains subject matters of an adult, insane, illogical and ridicules nature and anything even remotely resembling sanity and/or reason has been beaten into a bloody and undefinable lump of goop and dropped into the deepest darkest hole that the author could find. No money is being made and several shinobi and civilians have been harmed and/or humiliated in the making of this work of pure fiction.

_**AN:**_Damn 6 reviews, 1 C2s, 10 Favs, 26 Alert and over 251 hits in less than a week. I must be doing something right. Anyways here's the second chapter in less then a week. I'm working on the third and am hoping to have it ready for Halloween. Well enough from me lets get on with our show...

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The morning following Gato's demise finds Naruto returned to his previous appearance although he has promised himself, much to the gratitude of his Team's Sensei and possibly everyone that has ever known him, that he is going to buy an entirely new wardrobe once they get back to Konoha. Each day Naruto would create an army of Shadow Clones to assist Tazuna and his workers in completing work on the Bridge in order to help speed up the process while the real Naruto spent time getting to know both Haku and Zabuza much to the grumbling agitation of his Genin Teammates and the amused satisfaction of their Jounin Sensei. Whether Naruto did this because he wanted to be of further assistance to the people of Wave or simply wanted to get back to Ichiraku Ramen sooner was anyone's guess.

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Two days before the bridge is due to be completed Naruto and Haku sit under a couple of trees after an impromptu sparing match which he understandably lost. Taking a drink of water from her canteen Haku looks over Naruto. "Zabuza-sama still hasn't decided where we're going next," she informs him. "Tazuna has offered us a place here in Wave but..." she begins. "With everything that's happened it'll only be a matter of time before a Kiri finds us and we'll be forced to run again," Haku finishes sadly.

"You could always come back to Konoha with us," he suggest accepting the canteen from her. "Konoha's famous for its love of Kekkei Genkai users and there is a rather noticeable shortage of both Kenjutsu and Sutton Jutsu users."

"But will they accept us," she asks almost hopefully at the idea of joining a real Shinobi village.

"I don't see why not," he tells her honestly before taking a sip of water. "Come with us back to Konoha and at least speak with the Hokage," he offers handing the canteen back to her, "If you don't like what he has to say or if he doesn't accept you then you can always leave. But at least give it a chance."

"I'll have to speak with Zabuza-sama," she tells him, "It's up to him if we join you or not."

"Fair enough he replies as they stand and return to the house.

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As the Gates of Konoha come into view Naruto can't help the feeling of dread that begins to creep up on him. He knows that things are going to be different for him now, he's just not sure yet as to how. Once they approach the Gate Guards he can't help but chuckle at the pair of Chunins that greet them. "What did you two do this time to get stuck with guard duty?" he asks with an amused chuckle.

"Hey runt welcome back," Izumo grins, "Place has been too quiet without you around to liven things up."

"Well I'll just have to see about that," Naruto smirks.

"Before that," Kakashi interrupts, "We had better check in with the Hokage." Looking at the Elite Chunin he attempts to return to the business at hand. "Team 7 checking in," he states, "We are escorted two Shinobi seeking asylum."

"Acknowledged," Kotetsu replies noting their return in the log. "You are to report to the Hokage's office for debriefing at once."

"Understood," Kakashi says before turning to the rest of his team. "Sasuke and Sakura, you two can return home," he informs them, "We will resume our regular training schedule the day after tomorrow at the normal time. You're free until then." Sasuke simply shrugs before heading off towards the Uchiha District with the pink haired kunoichi following closely behind him.

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The Hokage is just finishing up with the latest reports from Ibiki when there is a knock at his door. "Come in," he calls setting aside the last file and pulling out his pipe. "Kakashi welcome back," he greets the Jounin Sensei for Team 7. "I trust your Mission went smoothly."

"Not as smoothly as we would have liked," the one-eyed Jounin replies as he moves aside to allow the others to enter the room.

"Oh and who are your guests Kakashi?" Sarutobi inquires eying the newcomers cautiously.

"Zabuza Momochi and his apprentice Haku," Kakashi answers causing the aged village leader to raise an eyebrow in surprise. "They seek asylum and wish to join Konoha."

"I see," Sarutobi says taking a long pull from his pipe as he gathers his thoughts. "Your thoughts Naruto," he asks the Genin.

"Begging your pardon Hokage-sama," Kakashi interrupts his student before he can answer. "I know how close that you and Naruto are," he states alluding to the grandfather grandson relationship that the other two seem to share. "But how does Naruto's input factor into this?"

Given his Elite Jounin and former ANBU Captain a knowing smile Sarutobi answers the question honestly. "While Naruto may not have been the best student in his Academy class," the village leader begins trying not to chuckle at the mumbled curse of the blonde Genin. "He does poses a rather remarkably sharp mind when it comes politics," he informs the others cause them to looks at Naruto with a bit of awe and the boy to beam with pride. "Of course that is when bothers to employ his talents that is," the aged leader chuckles deflating the poor child's ego just a bit.

"I'll get you for that one Jiji," the Genin grumbles crossing his arms over his chest before plopping down in one of the chairs in front of the Hokage's desk. Taking a breath to calm himself he begins speaking again, "Since Konoha doesn't have any current treaties with Kiri there are no obvious legal ramifications from allowing them political asylum," he states plainly, "Also since Kiri's currently enveloped in a Civil War they can't spare the man power or the resources to force a military situation over one missin-nin regardless of who they are."

Leaning back in his seat Naruto props his feet up on the desk before casually continuing is assessment, "Given Konoha's lack of both Kenjutsu and Sutton users Zabuza's knowledge and skills in both fields would make him a valuable addition to our forces even with the current bounties on his head."

A smile of pride graces the Hokage's lips as he notices the shocked and amazed looks on the face of the others in the room. Even after hearing about Naruto's sharp political mind none of them had really appreciated just how much the boy really understood about politics until they had heard his rather accurate break down of the situation involving Zabuza's joining Konoha. Sarutobi knew that the main reason Naruto's grades had been so poor while he attended the Academy stemmed largely from the boy's lack of focus and interest in what he himself had called "Useless Trivia". Couple that with the fact that Iruka was the only one of his teachers willing to put in any extra effort in actually trying to get around the child's short attention span and impulsive nature and it was no wonder why his grades had been as low as they had been.

In all honest the only reason that Sarutobi had managed to even learn about Naruto's talent was the fact that over the years he had allowed the boy to stay with him in his office every time he ran away from the orphanage before the Hokage had simply given the boy his own apartment four years ago. It was almost an accident that the Hokage had discovered that the child he viewed as a grandson had actually been listening in on his meetings with the members of the Council over the years when the blonde had casually mentioned his opinion on a matter that the Council had been debating bout that day. After that he had allowed the boy to listen to continue to listen in on his meeting with the Advisory Council and various Clan Heads on the Shinobi Council and even encouraged him offering his input on the topics being discussed. At least on matters that did not actually pertain to village secrets of the safety of Konoha itself.

When asked why he found politics so interesting Naruto had simply smiled that foxy smile of his and said that if he was going to be Hokage one day then he was going to have to know what to expect and how to deal with the Council so why not get started now. Pulling himself out of his little trip down memory lane he asks about the young girl wishing to become a Konoha Kunoichi. "And Haku," he asks wishing to hear the Jinchuuriki's input.

"Since Haku-Chan as never formally joined any Shinobi Village she is basically a clean slate," he answers honestly. "Besides she's got a Kekkei Genkai that lets her create and use Ice."

"These are all very good reasons and I agree to allow them to grant them asylum within the village," the Hokage informs everyone present. "However there will be a few stipulations on their becoming Shinobis of Konoha. First they will be held in ANBU HQ for one week where they will meet daily with both Ibiki and Inoichi to determine their trustworthiness. After that they will be confined to the Village for three weeks under constant ANBU supervisory. After if they still prove to be of no danger to Konoha then I shall convene the Shinobi Council and present their case. At that point if they are deemed acceptable they be allowed to take low ranking missions within the village for a one month probationary period before being granted the full rights and privileges of an active duty Ninja of the Leaf."

Zabuza and Haku both nod their agreement of the restrictions and stipulations placed on their joining the village. In all honesty given his past history and the bounty currently placed on his head by Kiri he's actually surprised at how relatively few restrictions there actually are much less the fact that the Hokage seems so willing to actually allow them a chance to even join Konoha at all.

"Now that that is out of the way," the Hokage begins, "Why don't you tell me how your mission went Kakashi?"

Kakashi then proceeds to tell the Hokage about everything that happened from the time the left the village. He tells how the encountered the Demon Brother on not long after leaving the Village, discovering Tazuna's deception, their first encounter with Zabuza and the battle on the bridge. As he relays the tale, only stopping to occasionally answer the Hokage's questions, Naruto closes his eyes as he tries and plan out how exactly he's going to explain his new abilities to the man he looks up to as a grandfather. Naruto is broken out of his thoughts as his turn to speak comes up.

"Naruto," Sarutobi says gaining the boy's full attention, "Why don't you tell me your side of things?"

Naruto then tells his Jiji how he had saved Tazuna's family from Gato's men before joining the other on the bridge. He even explains how he had tried to get himself and Sasuke out of Haku's Jutsu only for in his words "That damn Uchiha teme" to call him a coward not only giving away their position but getting him a Senbon in the heart for his trouble.

"Although all things considered," he says with a half chuckle, "I suppose I do kind of owe the teme."

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X **_

_**Flash Back**_

_Naruto awakens to find himself laying in an inch and a half of stagnate sewer water. Standing up his eyes are immediately drawn to the large steel gates of a cage with the only a piece of paper with the Kanji of Seal holding them closed. "**Well well**," a voice cackles from the expansive darkness beyond the gates says. "**Looks like my host has finally decided to pay me a visit**."_

"_Ky... Kyu... Kyuubi..." Naruto stutters fear momentarily gripping his heart._

"_**Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha,**" the cackling laughter that answers him proves almost more then his nerves can currently tolerate. "**Sorry to disappoint you kid**," the creepy voice replies, "**But I'm not that flea ridden ball of fur**." Stepping out of the darkness what can only be described as a walking moldy corpse with greasy molding green hair, rotting yellow teeth, a dirty stained white pinstriped suit with the stripes on the arms going horizontally instead of vertically a stained white dress shirt and a frayed faded black tie._

"_Who or what are you?" asks Naruto nearly repulsed by the creatures appearance. "And what happened to the damn fox that is _supposed_ to be here?"_

"_**Ah funny that you should ask that**," the creature replies. "**You see what had happened was...**"_

_**End Flash Back**_

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

"Let me see if I've got this straight," the Hokage begins taking a long puff from his pipe. "This being this...Beetleguise."

"Beetlejuice," Naruto corrects him.

"This Beetlejuice," Sarutobi continues, "He just gave you his powers and abilities and then simply left?"

"Pretty much," Naruto says. "He said he was bored hanging around this world and was ready to go back to his own but because of the nature of the Seal he needed to cease existing here in order to return to cross back over."

"How did he get here in the first place and how did he end up being sealed inside you rather then the Kyuubi?" the village leader inquires.

"He was summoned by a spirit living in a village near Konoha that was sick of a group of bandits terrorizing its family," Naruto answers.

"How can a spirit summon another spirit and what does that have to do with the Kyuubi?" Kakashi ask finding this whole situation highly unusual.

"Beetlejuice is a free-lance poltergeist," Naruto replies "An evil malevolent ghost that torments the living," he explains after seeing the confusion on everyone's faces. "Anyways he advertised one free demon possession with every purchase of his services but instead of wanting a demon to posses one of the bandits the spirit dared him to posses the Kyuubi that had just broken free of its former Jinchuuriki."

"Wait you mean that this poltergeist actually managed to posses the strongest of the Bijuu?" asks a wide eyed Hokage.

"Not entirely," Naruto tells him. "You see they were kind of vying for dominance when the Fourth Sealed Beetlejuice in me and took the Kyuubi with him into the Shinigami's stomach."

"So Sensei did manage to kill the Kyuubi after all," a solemn Kakashi says looking at the floor.

"Yeah he did," Naruto answers quietly. His voice is a strange mixture of pride and resentment. "But no one knew that and as a result I've been the village whipping boy ever since," he growls.

"I'm sorry Naruto," the Elite Jounin tells him placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "For what it's worth I'm sorry."

"As am I," Sarutobi adds.

"It's alright," he reassures them, "There was nothing either of you could have done that would have stopped the villagers from hating me for what they believed to be true," he adds as an evil grins crosses his lips. "At least not until now anyways" he almost cackles.

"Naruto..." the Hokage warns him.

"Sorry Jiji," Naruto apologizes scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Oh one more thing," Naruto says changing the subject. "He said that when he possessed the Kyuubi that he learned it's former host was named Kushina Uzumaki and the she and Minato Namikaze were my parents."

"Did he tell you anything else about them Naruto," asks a much more sober Hokage.

"No," Naruto answers slightly dejectedly. "When I asked he said he was a bit too busy trying to control the Kyuubi to really care about anything else at that moment."

"I see," Sarutobi replies taking a long draw from his pipe as he attempts to organize his thoughts. "As much as I had wished to have waited until you were a bit older," the village leader says standing up from his desk and moving towards the pictures of his predecessors, "In light of recent events I see little means of preventing you from learning about this on your own."

Naruto's eyes widen as he looks at the picture of the Fourth Hokage as if seeing it for the first time moments before the Third removes the portrait from the wall to reveal a safe. Dialing the combination Sarutobi opens the safe before removing a safety deposit box. Returning to his desk he opens the box and removes its contents. In the box was the deed to his parents house, a marriage certificate, a wedding photo, a picture of his hero the Fourth whit his arm around the shoulders of a very pregnant redhead, and the ledger for his parents bank account.

Naruto's eyes widen as he sees everything laid out before him. The logical portion of his mind realizes that this is his inheritance, his birthright, while the rest of his mind is still in shocked awe that he even had parents and that they had actually left him anything at all. While his mind is still processing this new development Sarutobi's voice snaps his attention back to their conversation.

"I have been using the money in your parents' bank account to pay your bills over the years," the Hokage informs him. "But there is still more then enough to allow you to live comfortably for the next couple of years without your mission. Even with your rather ah... healthy appetite," he chuckles.

'And what is that suppose to mean Jiji," a now offended Naruto demands.

"How many bowls of Ramen do you normally eat per meal," an unfazed Sarutobi inquires.

"Six or seven," Naruto answers eliciting chuckles from the others in the room.

"And who currently holds the record for the most bowls of Ramen consumed in a single sitting," the Hokage asks with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"I do," a now defeated Naruto sighs.

"And what is the current record?"

"95," a pouting Naruto grumbles as the others now openly laugh at him. "Okay fine you win," the teen concedes.

"Moving along," the village leader continues, "As your father's former student Kakashi can show you to your parents home and explain to you how to deactivate and reactivate the security Seals your father installed." Turning to Zabuza and Haku he continues in a slightly less jovial tone of voice as he stands once again. "If you would both please follow me I will personally escort you to ANBU Headquarters and explain your situation to Ibiki and Inoichi." Saying their goodbyes for now the two groups go their separate ways once they leave the Tower.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X **_

_**AN: AND... CUT...**_ I know this was a filler chapter and I'm sorry for not having any of the silliness here but I needed to wrap up the Wave Arc and this seemed to be the best course of action. Don't worry I promise that next chapter will contain all the Beetlejuice/Naruto pranking craziness and off the wall hijinks that you could ever want so until next time...

~Later~

Raven


	3. Trick or Treating Council Style

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own neither the characters or the concepts related to either the Beetlejuice or the Naruto Universes. I am merely borrowing them for my own amusement and insanity. No money is being made and several shinobi and civilians have been harmed and/or humiliated in the making of this work of pure fiction. **_Let the record reflect that while the writer of this story neither condones nor condemns bashing in fanfiction as a rule the comedic scenes in this story are all purely situational and are not intended to be considered bashing of any individual character or groups of characters._**

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

The next morning Naruto wakes up after what is arguably the best night's sleep of his relatively short life. Getting out of what was once his parents large comfortable bed he heads towards the Master Bathroom to shower and change before going about his day.

Once his morning ritual is finished however he left with a rather interesting problem on his hands. While he knows that he will need to return to his apartment to collect what few belongings he actually owns his new home while fully furnished and well cared for still needs to be stocked with food, toiletry and clothing for its new owner. "Okay so breakfast, then moving then shopping," Naruto says aloud as he goes over his mental check list for his day off.

Taking a look at himself in the mirror he can't help but be honest about the real reason he wears what many would call his "_Kill Me_" neon orange jumpsuit. While he adamantly defends the color as being his favorite the truth of the matter is that it has always been another one of his attention grabbing gimmicks. "Well I have another way of getting everyone's attention now," he comments with a mischievous grin.

_Though I know I should be wary, _

_Still I venture someplace scary,_

_Ghostly haunting I turn loose..._

_Beetlejuice,_

_**Beetlejuice,**_

_**BEETLEJUICE!** _

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

What had originally started out as just another day for those that called the village of Konoha home rapidly descended into something far more bizarre. What had been a typically normal day in the most peaceful of the Five Great Shinobi Villages quickly became a day that none of the villages' residents would ever forget for as long as they lived. For this was the day that the village of Konoha would be introduced to a whole new side of what had been considered to be the village outcast by a vast majority of its denizens. It must be noted that while there was a semi-vocal minority within the village, particularly among the civilian population, that would certainly be happy if the blonde Jinchuuriki were dead the vast majority of those that had suffered at the 'paws' of the Demon Fox were content to merely glare hatefully or to turn a blind eye to the child's neglectful suffering over the years. Unfortunately for both parties what they were to meet today was no longer the hyperactive attention starved outcast that they had all come to ignore or despise but something unholy different something that none of them would ever be ably to either ignore or torment ever again.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

Walking into a local grocery store Naruto had barely made it five feet from the front door when the store's owner came at him brandishing a wooden broom as if it was a great samurai sword. "I told you to never come here again you damn brat," the man bellowed as he brought the improvised weapon down for a potentially lethal though mostly painful blow to the Genin's head.

Without even thinking Naruto merely reaches up with his left hand and catches the broom by its long shaft before looking at it. "Okay...," he begins uncertainly. "Why are you trying to hit me with a rubber chicken?" he inquires now holding said comedy prop in his hand before looking at the stunned shopkeeper. It is at this precise moment that all hell broke loose. "**MY EYES... MY EYES...**" Naruto screams in terror clutching his eyes as if in a great deal of pain. "**I'VE BEEN STRUCK BLIND... OH THE HORROR... THE HORROR...**"

Shoppers inside the store as well as many pedestrians passing by stop and look at what could have caused such a reaction from the blond only to gasp in shock at the sight before them. Parents frantically cover their children's eyes while many cries of pervert and sexual deviant are spoken with scorn at the now mortified man. Standing in front of the blonde shinobi surrounded by a sea of humanity the man once dressed in his everyday work clothes now finds himself dressed in nothing but dirty old granny panties with an over sized bra barely hanging on his old thin wrinkled frame in black heels and stockings being held in place by a frayed garter belt. Rage and indignation loose out to embarrassment and rapidly dropping dignity as the man quickly forces his way through the still growing crowd as he attempt to return home and change in order to salvage what little of his reputation and social standing that he can.

Moaning about his soiled eyes in apparent ignorance of the onlookers surrounding him Naruto removes his left eye from its socket before placing it in a golf ball washer that no one not even the shinobi in the crowd had even seen materialize. After washing the eye he returns it to its proper place before repeating the process with the other eye much to the horror and disgust of those around him. Once his eyes have been thoroughly cleaned of their previous taint the Genin blinks a few times to restore his sight only to begin pounding his head while screaming once again. "Get it out get it out," he calls as his brain begins oozing out of his right ear causing almost everyone present to become sick to their stomachs.

As with the golf ball washer a washbasin and and scrubbing board suddenly appear in front of Naruto as he begins to frantically scrubbing his mind clean of whatever horror had forced him to remove it from his head to begin with. Once his mind is done being washed he holds it up in one hand while running a hairdryer over it with the other. It is at this point that a pair of ANBU arrive to begin dispersing and in more then a few instances reviving the crowd as Naruto simply lifts his hat, along with the top of his head and drops his brain back inside his skull.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

After leaving the store without buying anything Naruto walks down the streets of Konoha hoping to find somewhere that he can actually buy some new clothes. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your point of view, the incident at the grocery store begins spreading like wildfire among Konoha's Gossip Network and as a result almost everyone that the boy passes begins giving him a remarkably wide berth.

After nearly an hour walking and shopping around without really finding anything of interest Naruto decides to take an early lunch break when a pair of ANBU drop down in front of him. "Genin Uzumaki," the Bear masked ANBU begins.

"Namikaze," Naruto replies correcting the man. "My name is Namikaze, not Uzumaki," he explains.

"Genin Namikaze," the man concedes, "You are to come with us to see the Council at once."

"Is this an order from the Hokage himself or a demand from the Council?" Naruto asks them.

"The Council requests your presence at once," The ANBU informs him moving to place a hand on the Genin's shoulder.

Naruto pulls back, just out of the man's reach before responding. "Then I must respectfully decline," he begins while casually placing his hands in the pockets of his slacks. "Unless the Hokage himself issues the Order the Council really has no control of the Shinobi in this village."

At that moment another ANBU appears, "Naruto Namikaze," the Cat Masked female begins, "The Hokage requires your presence in the Council Chamber at once."

"Okay," the now bouncing blonde says walking up to the female ANBU. "Let's go."

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

As Naruto walks into the Council Chamber he can already hear the Civilians on the Council calling for his death while a few of the Shinobi on the Council argue that he has done nothing to warrant such. "Hey Old Man," he calls out over the other voices in the room. "You wanted to see me."

"Ah Naruto," the Hokage replies ignoring the shouts from the civilian members of the council demanding that the boy show the proper respect when addressing the village leader. "It has been brought to the Council's attention that you have been using your new... abilities... shall we say on the civilians of Konoha."

"If this is about that crazy shopkeeper that attacked me this morning I've already decided not to press charges," Naruto comments with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"You assaulted and humiliated a well respected member of this community," a rather plump red faced civilian man begins, "Show a complete lack of respect to the Honored Hokage and this Council and then have the audacity to claim YOU are not pressing charges."

"Yup pretty much," Naruto grins plopping down in an over stuffed chair that none of the highly skilled Shinobi on the council had even seen him summon. "I mean yeah sure it was traumatic having a man wearing woman's underwear attack me with a rubber chicken," he explains causing a few chuckles from the Clan Heads, "But I figure the guy probably had some kind of mental break down and needs psychiatric help that he is not likely to receive if he's locked up for six months for attacking a Shinobi."

"You filthy Demon," a rather large woman screams as she stands up from her seat. "I won't let you get away with humiliating my brother like that," she roars causing Naruto to fall back in his chair.

"AH..." he screams quickly jumping to his feet wearing a tan khaki lion tamer's outfit complete with safari hat brandishing a whip and a wooden chair. "Don't worry Old Man I'll protect you from the howling harpy," he exclaims ash he leaps between the Hokage and the woman thrusting the chair forward while cracking his whip. "Back you vial creature back I say."

To everyone's shock they are currently watching the once large woman now somehow apparently transformed into harpy flapping its winged arms while attempting to "_claw_" at the blonde animal tamer. Many of the Shinobi present, including the Hokage, attempt to dispel what they believe to be an elaborate Genjutsu only to find that they are unable to do so while a few, such as Tsume and Chouza almost fall out of their chairs with laughter.

"Naruto..." Sarutobi says trying to gain the boy's attention and perhaps regain some semblance of order in this meeting. "Naruto," he tries again as the boy seemingly ignores him in favor of battling the flying creature. "**NAARRRUUUUTTTTTOOOOOO...**"he finally yells giving his own version of Iruka's infamous Big Headed No Jutsu.

"Yes," the boy asks in shock at the sudden and rather loud use of his name.

"Can we please get back to the meeting now," Sarutobi asks in a much quieter and calmer voice.

"Oh..." the blonde replies sheepishly, "Okay."

Once Naruto returns to his seat and the Councilwoman has been returned to her former state the meeting resumes. "Now Naruto why don't you explain to the rest of the Council what you told me about your new abilities."

"I guess," the Genin replies before giving the gathered Council a grin that causes a cold shiver to run down many of their spines. "Although I would much rather show them..." he states before jumping out of his seat and removing his hat from his head. Reaching into the hat he begins pulling out various objects, weapons and nicknacks causing everyone in the room to look on in utter amazement that something so small could possibly hold so many things. After nearly five minutes and several piles reaching up to the top of Naruto's own head he manages to finally pull out a rather large and very wide television screen. "What," he asks seeing the pale wide eyed and open jawed looks on the faces of most of the Council Members.

"Where...how...what...," Tsume begins stuttering trying to ask him how it was even possible for a seemingly ordinary hat to hold almost an entire room full of stuff.

"I don't know," Naruto shrugs. "It just does," he replies turning the T.V. On without even bothering to plug it in. As they watch what happened not only the battles on the bridge but also Naruto's conversation with the Poltergeist Beetlejuice their reactions vary from shame on the part of a few of the Clan Heads to pure outrage from most of the Civilians. By the time the "show" is over most if not all of the civilians are now screaming for the abominations death at the top of their lungs.

"I refuse to believe that this... this freak is the son of our beloved Fourth," a bald civilian roars causing his thick lensed wire framed glasses to slide down his large beak-like nose.

"Whether you believe it or not doesn't make it any less true," Naruto casually replies from his chair in front of the now blank T.V. Screen. "The fact remains that I was never a Jinchuuriki, the Kyuubi is no more, I am the Yondaime's son and my name is actually Namikaze and not Uzumaki."

"Don't you dare claim that most sacred name you vial beast," the "harpy lady" from earlier nearly screams at him. "You are nothing but a foul Demon and we will have no more of your lies."

"That is enough," the Hokage states allowing his KI to spike just enough to regain control of the situation. "Naruto is the only child of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki," he informs the others in the room. "This information while previously classified for his own safety is well documented in my private records. As for his claims of the Kyuubi's demise and this... poltergeist giving him its power in exchange for its going home. While I am inclined to believe him. I will of course summon Jiraiya back to the village in order to check the Seal and verify that what he says is true."

"Ah... just one slight problem with that plan," Naruto chuckles nervously. "Ah... you see the thing is... the seal's kind of not there anymore."

"I see," the village leader begins, "That does change things quite a bit."

"You don't honestly believe this... this monster do you Lord Hokage," another civilian woman demands.

"What is there not to believe," Inoichi inquires. "So far he has shown no signs of trying to deceive any of us. In fact he has handled remarkably well unlike many members of this Council."

"How dare you.." the woman begins only to be interrupted by Hiashi.

"I see no further reason to continue this discussion with Namikaze-san present," the Head of the Hyuuga Clan states. "He has already provided us with all the information that we require."

"What about his unholy new powers?" demands the plump Councilman.

"While I will admit his new abilities are strange and unusual even by Shinobi standards I see nothing to indicate that they are anything more then an Evolution of sorts of his previously documented tendency for pranking those that have in some form or another been less then civil towards him," the stoic man answers.

"If these powers are an evolution then they are a blood-line and we must immediately place him under the Clan Restoration Act," the glasses wearing beak nosed Councilman states.

"Sorry doesn't work like that," Naruto tells them. "My powers are mine and mine alone," he says, "As such they can't be passed down."

"Very well then," the Hokage begins, "You may go Naruto."

"Okay," the Genin replies as he turns to leave, "Later Old Man."

"Wait," one of the Civilians calls out to him as he reaches the doors. "What about you things?"

"What things?" Naruto asks innocently as he walks out of the room leaving the others to wonder about what had happened to the large screen television, the over sized stuffed chair and the mountains of other things that had been in the room just a second before.

_**X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X**_

A/N: ANNDDD... ... CUT... … I hope everyone had a Happy and Safe Halloween and while I didn't get this out as early as I would have preferred nor did I get as much covered as I would have liked, given the time constraints I've been under this week I think this chapter came out pretty good.

As always please remember to tip your steak and try the waitress on your way out... So until next time...

~Later~

Raven


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